During the peak of my Leonard Cohen obsession, I read a lot about him on the internet. I remember reading one review that said something along the lines of "Cohen's songwriting is most effective when he turns the mirror on himself". And I wouldn't disagree. But it's interesting to think about this mirror and whether one has the ability to point it away from oneself. Perhaps mine has been pointing inward for too long, both in terms of songwriting and not.
I confess that I find myself fascinating (which is not the same as expecting other people to do likewise), and indeed I think that to find oneself anything other than fascinating would be a sad situation. After all, regardless of what you think of your own personality, you have the ability to view the planet's most complex organism from the inside, and that is deeply interesting. But the heat of an introspective gaze can stew the soul, reducing it to something strong but tough and with an unpleasant taste.
So today I will begin to cast my eyes skyward, groundward, peopleward. Outward. No more funny songs about my accent, my inadequacies, my neuroses. No more abortive novels in which I play every character. No more uncalled-for, self-pitying comments in conversation. Instead, songs and writing and talking about the world, about animals, science, philosophy, religion, politics, love, music, film, football, poetry, friendship, family, history, food, future, morality, mortality and space.
I feel I am learning to be a proper person right now. I don't know how many phases one is granted in life, but if this isn't a transition, I don't know what is. A transition from dependence and uncertainty, not necessarily into the opposite but into something vivid and real. And I cannot fucking wait.
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